What makes promises so difficult to keep?   

The dictionary defines “promise” as “a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc. by one”.  It sounds simple enough. You agree to do something and then you do it.  So why is it that so many promises are not kept?

Even worse, those who make and then break their promises often don’t seem to feel the least bit of remorse or the need to offer an apology or explanation for having broken their word.  

Currently, the college age daughter of one of my friends is on a solo month long adventure through India. Her initial contact/host family is a relative of one of her mother’s co-workers and their home has been her base of operations. Somehow, contact was established with another family in Mumbai who agreed to play host. So off Leslie went on a twenty hour train trip. When she arrived at the station in Mumbai, Leslie found that her “hosts” had changed their minds and had sent her bag to a hotel.  So, here she is in an unfamiliar city, in a foreign country far from home. She is traveling alone. She knows no one.

Being the strong, brave, resourceful soul that she is, Leslie finds the hotel, recovers her bag, and finds a place where  she can afford to spend the night.  She makes plans to return to Bangalore on the following day’s train. If anyone can handle this situation, Leslie can.

The point, however, is that she should never have been put at risk like this. If the family did not wish to play host, it would have been much kinder in the long run just to have said “no” in the first place rather than to leave a young woman stranded.

My parents and various mentors over my career always stressed the importance of doing what you say you will do.  Consequently, I don’t make promises lightly. I expect to keep each and every one that I make. If something happens to prevent me from keeping my word, I find a way to make it right.

It is a small thing in this great big fast moving world, but there a still a few people around who keep their promises.  Whether in business or in your personal life, strive to be one of this rare breed. A promise kept should not become an endangered species…

Although I was concerned, at first, about turning Blue loose with a bunch of other dogs, what I have discovered is that dogs will generally get along amazingly well, if their humans will just leave them the heck alone.  In fact, dogs get along much better than a similar sized group of humans would.

So how does that work?

First of all, when a new dog appears at the gate to the enclosure, most of the other dogs gather around to greet (sniff, smell, and otherwise assess) the newcomer.  Frequently, a dog or dogs will pair off with the newcomer right at the gate and head off to play. This is completely different behavior from a human party where the latest arrival must find some way to approach others who are already engaged in conversation and risk being rejected.  There are no outsiders at a dog party.

Another thing that I have noticed is that dogs are not afraid to do their own thing.  Some dogs love to chase after balls or Frisbees, others like to run, a few like to just sit in the wading pool, and some love to wrestle with another dog.  Blue’s favorite thing is to find a bigger dog with similar energy and “play rough”.  At the dog park, nobody cares what anybody else is doing, because everybody is having a good time.

If a couple of dogs do happen to run afoul of each other, usually the simple curl of a lip is enough for both parties to decide to walk away.  In several years of regular dog park attendance, I have only witnessed two instances of “dog fights” both of which were over in around 10 seconds without injury.  Once a dog has said his piece, he gets over it and moves on.

Maybe we should all take a lesson from our pets and let our behavior “go to the dogs”.

Around seven years ago, before I expanded my lawn into what had been my vegetable garden area in the interest of making my house more “marketable”, I had the space to grow twenty varieties of heirloom tomatoes.  Now I only have space for ten, so I must be ruthless in my selection.

Every year I keep a “tomatobase” of information regarding my favorite crop.  The information that I track includes the number of fruits produced by each plant, the date of the first ripe fruit, and the characteristics that I particularly like or do not like about the variety. 

Okay, you can quit laughing now.  I mean, after all, is it really that big a jump from being a “bean counter” to counting tomatoes?

 The purpose of accumulating all of this information is to help in making the selection for the coming year’s plantings.  As an example, if a variety produced a high number of fruits, but they tasted like an old sponge, it probably won’t be back this year.  A lower producing variety with incredible tasting fruit will be more likely to make the cut.  (Does this remind anybody else of hiring employees?)

I try to get a broad spectrum of fruit characteristics, cherry tomatoes and standards, and fruits in a rainbow of colors – red, orange, yellow, green, and purple – in my selection. Most of my fruit is eaten fresh, or shared with friends, and my two dogs Ace and Blue look forward to eating fresh cherry tomatoes while standing in the garden on a warm summer evening. Blue, clever boy that he is, will even nose around under the tomato leaves trying to find an extra ripe fruit to be eaten on the sly.

At the end of the growing season, the remaining unripe fruit is converted into green tomato chutney and pickles and canned. These items are included in Christmas boxes mailed to various relatives around the country including a bunch up in Alaska.

So what lessons have I learned from my tomato obsession?  Grow what you love, grow what works best for you, share what you grow, and remember that dogs appreciate good things too!  All of these lessons can be applied to your business or life in general.

And most of all, whatever you do, have a good time while you’re doing it.

It started with an e-mail from a woman whose ancestors were also involved in the Arizona silver boom in the late 1800’s (think Tombstone in the bad old days).  She is doing research for an article on the early history of Arizona territory as part of the centennial celebration and had tracked my family down as a possible resource.

Consequently, I dusted off my previous genealogical research and via the Internet discovered a whole lot more than I knew before about the Hollenstain line.  I now know exactly where they came from in Denmark, when, and by what ships.  I recently found my great-great-grandfather’s naturalization records and am waiting on a copy of a will that was filed in Tombstone prior to his return to the Salinas Valley circa 1902.

Right now, I am trying to push the Hollenstain (aka Hollensteiner) line back another generation from Denmark to Schleswig-Holstein or Prussia.  This is proving to be a challenging task.  Just when I think I’ve picked up their trail, my ghostly ancestors slide quietly away. 

As an unexpected side benefit of this genealogical activity, I find that I am growing more tolerant of others knowing that I have had a Revolutionary War general, a little person (dwarf), two accused witches (one executed), a brewery owner, a master mariner/explorer,  and several Native Americans hiding among the leaves on my family tree.  Once in a while, I could swear that one of them is reaching out from amid the leaves when I find a photograph of an ancestor born nearly 150 years ago smiling at me from the internet.

As an accountant, my role frequently involves a lot of “detective” work.  I weave my way through a customer’s business records, the history by transaction of a company, unraveling knots as I go.  Along the way, I start to get a sense and understanding of the people who are the life blood of the company just as I seek to develop knowledge of my ancestors.

The weather gods were smiling and there was not cloud in the sky as we cruised through Anderson Valley on our way north.  Apple orchards were in bloom, vineyards were coming to life, and wildflowers dotted the landscape.

Ace and I spent two days walking  around Mendocino and Fort Bragg, having lunch at restaurants (where Ace, as usual, was much admired), reading (I read, Ace napped on the foot of the bed), and just staring out at the ocean.  We returned home yesterday afternoon.  I am feeling renewed and ready to start getting my personal stuff back on track.

This was the first time in 20 odd years in public accounting that I have left town right after tax season, and I find myself wondering why the heck I never have before.  I worked hard and deserved a reward.  I gave myself one and now I feel ready to move forward with work and personal “clean up”. 

Go ahead and treat yourself now and again.  You don’t need anyone’s permission but your own.

Anyway, my two cats were both adopted from local shelters and have had dog siblings all of their lives. 

Cara, the elder of the two cats, is an extrovert.  She is the first one to greet me (on the front porch of my house) when I arrive home from wherever I have been.  When I have company, she hops into their laps to be petted and charms even the most resistant (my Dad, for one) souls.  If I cross the street to chat with a neighbor, she follows me, meowing all the while.  As a result, she has been nicknamed “Mom” by one of my neighbors. 

I do not believe that Cara has ever met anyone human, feline, or canine that she could not get along with.  This even includes Blue, the Standard Schnauzer puppy, who weights four times what Cara does.  If she looks him dead in the eye and calmly cocks her paw, he knows that he better behave and, yet, Blue simply adores Cara. 

Some people have the same knack for relationships, effortlessly getting along with everybody but also able to set and enforce their boundaries in a low-key way.  They have an almost Zen-like calm, yet still manage to “run the parade”. 

My younger cat, Chico, although a big boy (for a cat) is a bit of a sissy.  Think ofthe Cowardly Lion in “The Wizard of Oz” and you’ve got Chico in a nutshell.  If the doorbell rings, he “hides” by burrowing under the covers on my bed (he somehow believes that the resulting large cat-shaped lump in the bedding is magically invisible).  

In spite of his extreme timidity, Chico has a warm and loving heart.  He will let me hold him and cuddle for hours. He sleeps on the pillow next to my head at night and personally watches over me as I sleep. 

Some people, like Chico, are “afraid of their own shadow”. It does not mean that they are not worth getting to know and care about.  It just takes extra time, effort, and care for them to trust.  When they do, they may well bloom like a flower. 

So, what kind of “cat” are you? And what about your employees and customers? Once we take the time to understand people’s unique personalities, we are in a better position to be of service – either by helping them find the right role or guiding them to the  right product or solution.

There is an old saying that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  Last year, a new job opportunity resulted in my having to make a fairly significant daily commute. For someone whose previous “commute” was less than four miles and took about ten minutes, this could be considered a “lemon”.

My new commute from the north end of Santa Rosa to St. Helena takes around forty-five minutes. It is a route with minimal traffic but one that requires a driver’s attention and focus. Fortunately, I have always enjoyed driving the two-lane back roads with their spectacular vistas and overall serenity.

One morning, I had forgotten to recharge my MP3 player and as a result was faced with a music-free drive. Like most folks, my first (printable) thought was “what a drag not having music to listen to”. Strangely enough, I discovered an interesting thing about being focused on driving while in a “noise free zone”.

My innovative side began to occupy available mind space as all sorts of ideas began popping into my head. Mind you (no pun intended), none of these ideas was “huge”, but I enjoyed the feeling of free-floating spontaneous creativity so much that I no longer listen to music during my commute time. Most of the ideas for my blogs have been developed during this drive time (no, I will not put the music back on).

Now when I arrive at the office, I quickly put my thoughts into writing before they vanish like the mists that hang  over the landscape in the morning. At that point I can fashion them into a blog as time and energy permits. What this experience has taught me is that, like most people, I get so busy dealing with life (work, chores, pets, family, friendships, e-mail, to tweet or not to tweet, etc.) that the noise and drama tends to drown out that joyous little creative voice.

Thanks to my  two forty-five minute “quiet times” each day, that voice has started to sing and I find that I am really enjoying my own music. The “lemon” of having to spend time commuting has been converted into “lemonade” and it is truly delicious.

Imagine the new ideas that you might generate for your company or business in a noise-free zone…

The most significant discovery I made during that long-ago film class was the genre of the silent movie. Prior to that time, my limited awareness of silent movies was due to a television show which featured silent films run at the wrong speed (with silly captions inserted) strictly for comic value.

In this film class, the silent films were played at the correct speed and frequently had an added orchestral soundtrack to simulate the original live piano accompaniment. The lighting and photography in these films was frequently superb, but the truly amazing thing was the ability of the actors to communicate action and emotion without words (beyond the occasional – and largely redundant — title card). Facial expressions and body language were the primary means of telling the story.

Perhaps in the days before the media barrage that is so prevalent today, people were able to read or “hear” the body language of others more readily than they do today. So much of any situation is in what is NOT said – the raised eyebrow, a clenched jaw, or the failure to make eye contact. These actions can frequently impart an entirely different message than a stream of words pouring from somebody’s mouth. Frequently, the body language tells a truth that the words may not.

In the business world, it is critically important to listen to what others are saying. But while you are listening to the words, also make the effort to “hear” what their body language is saying. This additional information could aid in your decision making process or at least make you aware that all might not be as it is presented.

The “puppy”, Blue the Standard Schnauzer, is now twenty months old and a solid 45 pounds.  It has been an interesting journey and has caused me to reflect on the similar issues between training a puppy and dealing with other people.

The very first thing that should be noted is that all puppies, like people, are different.  They are all individuals, although puppies of the same breed (Scotties, of which I have had four, for instance) tend to be more the same than puppies of a different breed (Standard Schnauzer for instance).

The training process with Ace, as with my other Scotties, was virtually painless.  In spite of the reputation that terriers have for being difficult to train, my Scotties were virtually push-button.  I would ask them to do something and they gladly did it in short order (in case you wonder, I am an alpha female, so that probably helped).   Dandy eventually got to the point that he would frequently know what I wanted before I could vocalize it.

Some people are like my Scotties – intelligent, eager to please, and cheerful.  They can be independent but are willing to acknowledge and accept the leadership of the pack leader.  They are not wimps, they are simply good companions.

Blue, however, has been another experience altogether.  Although he, too, is a very intelligent dog, Blue has presented more difficulties than the Scotties. When I ask him to do something he does not immediately do it in spite of having Ace to observe as an example of the desired behavior.  His first response is to look at me as if to ask “Are you really sure about that?”  When I repeat the command he moves ever so slowly to comply, just in case I change my mind. I never knew that the “sit” command could take so long to execute.  Now, granted, Blue’s legs are nearly three times as long as Ace’s, but still there is a big difference in attitude at work here.

Blue’s reactions are similar to interacting with some people who either question or resist everything that they are asked to do.  Working with this type of personality, be it person or dog, takes more time, effort, and patience and is more wearing than dealing with a more compliant personality type.

Like people, dogs respond differently to both rewards and punishment — what motivates one may not necessarily motivate another.

So what is my conclusion from all of this?  Well I love and treasure both of my dogs.  I accept them as any parent would with all of their special gifts and flaws.  I will continue to work with Blue (and, hopefully, find his “fast-forward” button re executing commands) as patiently as I can. I will try to do the same with other people, but I don’t have the option of putting them in the dog run or withholding their cookies if they refuse to behave!

This is the time of year when most of us are beginning to think about (or are dreading) the process of dealing with our personal income taxes.  In spite of the urge to get it over with as quickly as possible, just as with making a quilt, it is important that you start with a plan and all of the right “materials”.

If you have your return prepared by a tax professional, you may already have a plan available to you.  It is generally called an “organizer” because it is designed to help you with the process of getting your information together.

The organizer lists each item of income and expense from your prior year (2008, in this case) tax return.  It is designed as an outline, or a “pattern”, for you to follow. When an item is received (W-2 from employer, for example), check it off and put it in a large manila envelope destined for delivery to your tax professional.  Flag pages with items still missing with a Post-it. If you did your own return last year, you can use it as the organizer.

Okay, you’ve got a plan!  Now, about those materials….

Unlike making a quilt, you can’t control just when you will have all of the materials needed for your tax return.  No quick trip to the fabric store or climb to the fabric box in the attic will take care of this.

The information for your tax return will largely be provided by outside sources.  It will arrive by snail mail on a maddeningly sporadic basis, hiding out among the bills, catalogues, and various items of junk mail. 

The important thing here is to restrain yourself from handing that large manila envelope over to your tax professional before you have the majority of your materials. While you don’t want to wait until the last minute to provide your information, neither do you want to deliver it one piece at a time.  Keep track of any missing information so you can continue to prod the responsible parties if necessary.  

It’s like not taking the time to accurately assemble and measure the pieces for a quilt before sewing them together – you may wind up with a bit of a mess if you don’t.

 Nobody (well, almost nobody) really likes having to deal with income taxes, but do yourself a favor and put in the time and effort to do it right.  Many an IRS notice and amended tax return has been generated because some piece of information was not included in a tax return.

And remember the old proverb — “haste makes waste”.